September 17, 2006
Dhamma Greetings to all of you reading this!
This is the beginning of a Blog here. Such a word, eh? BLOG! Hmmm? Don't know
how it will go. You see understanding has finally been mastered that the past
includes just a second ago and that is already past! Funny. Harder these days to
write about it because of this. Continual practice at being here in the moment
isn't easy but it grows on you gradually and it has it's effects while it is
becoming hopefully ingrained one day!
But, truthfully, there are many
faces to the adventure that has happened here in the forest over the past 5
years. Interesting things led up to the adventure in Missouri too. 6 1/2
years used to be a long time, but now it seems like it flew
by! There have been funny times, frustrating times, amazing discoveries,
disappointments, laughter from the gut and utter silence in the forest. Many
truly fascinating moments have arisen and passed away. Many say these should be
shared with you and so that's what this is about. This is an attempt to do this
so these times just don't fall away for ever not helping anyone else. The truth
is they were
magical in many ways and continue to be so. And magic shouldn't be forgotten!
This is a start then. Good. To throw you a curve ball again, <smile> the
thought came up that it would be fun to write forward and backward too! So
sometimes things here are about what happened while, other times, it's what's
going on right now. We'll see how it goes. Hope it brings in some smiles and
feeds your Metta!
Sister Khema
Dhamma Sukha Meditation Center
Annapolis, MO
September 20, 2006
Blue Skies. Cool to sleep at night. 40's. Stick bugs visiting now.
Spiders busy in their webs fattening up for the bitter cold that will come
soon. Wild pigs moving in the ridge top woods nearby.
Fawns everywhere. May be too many! Wind in the trees. Leaves coming down.
No water in the stream at all right now. Lots of rocks. Been a long dry
spell. Can't remember the last rain.
Lots of cleaning to do on the equipment and tents before putting them away
for the winter time. My trailer is getting a shakedown. Cleaning everything.
Needs a new roof! Going to caulk it but should have a new one after five
years time now! Needs the water repaired for next year I am thinking. Lost
is in a freeze last winter while I was away. Went
without water this summer. It was okay. Carried it in once a week. But no
shower. No washing here now. Still very clean
inside.
Gave everything away but what was needed for the center. First aide stuff
lives in my trailer mostly, remedies and teas in one spot.
Sitting in the early morning is good now. Blanket wrapped around me is a good
thing. Hot tea. Listening to the early forest waking up. Listen to the talk.
The cold has made it more silent for sleep now but the six leggeds and the 8
leggeds are not dying out this year. Might not get cold enough to cut down
the population
The Silphs are in the skies now whenever they spray us. The sky doesn't look
as gray as it was today. Found turtles that had been hit by those trucks
coming in to fix the broken reservoir. Will be glad when that work is done. Too
many things going down this road now. Roads breaking up too. It will pass
and eventually settle down again when the works done..
At least the poachers don't come around so much now. Afraid they will get
caught I reckon.
Sure wish I could share this forest with more people. Its really beautiful
around the building sites now. Cats getting frisky too. Like to watch them
play now. Even the dogs get into this act. Weather gets you frisky
sometimes. they all seem to get along here.
Wonderful.
SK
Adventures of an American Buddhist Forest
Nun
Beginnings:
2001.
I had gone to Florida after the death
of my Mother and a post-mess with my family back East. Happens. Routine story
for many families, or so I hear now. A disability had become a challenge
for me to live with. It was subtle but totally changed my life around.
Areal bugger that you can't readily see. That's the bad kind
sometimes. Simply put, it became obvious that something totally new
was in order. A complete shift of lifestyle was needed to survive. A
complete reduction in stress had to happen. But how. Just do it.
Well, that's how this got started. I
got brave and just did it. So I left Virginia.
When I arrived at first in Florida, I shared quarters with another woman and the expenses of her home. This
worked for a little while until I could get a place of my own. During that time, I was given the
opportunity to do carry over prayers for my mother. Did this
everyday for about one month
and sent her on her way. This was a good form of closure. Attempted
closure. I had a little money to survive for a time. The warm
weather was very helpful for my health and outlook. It gives you
hope sometimes.
One thing was that I was not so fit physically
when I first got there. I could do some things, but I was still not
very strong. I sensed I needed to get stronger.
So I worked out for about one year total strength training, using some coaches, changing my diet and began to
slowly feel better. Gradually, I got stronger. I began to ride a bike. A lot. 30-60 mile
rides. Don't know why I ever gave that up. Can't remember.
I took time to reclaim my
love of the outdoors which I had given up during two marriages and five
kids. That was partially a maternal instinct I guess but wrongly
followed. Bad luck I guess. Had been working in Washington, D.C. but
left after I couldn’t work anymore. I kept
collapsing. The Depression was just awful. Going to the warm weather
was a real help. Then I decided to fly up to 1000 feet and "pluck
clouds out of the sky with my hands" in an Ultra-light plane.
Probably insane. OK. Afterwards I committed to learning to fly one. Incredibly free
like a bird up there. A total shift in perspective. Roller-bladed to strengthen my legs.
Was just like ice skating all over again. Great. Who said I couldn't
be a kid anymore? Took
walks to help my breathing. Went back to swimming some again and
snorkeling.
Each morning I was continuing the basic meditation
I had been taught in D.C. before leaving while in the heat of all the upheaval.
someone once said that life is upheaval. We should "welcome upheaval!". I
was getting a lot of stuff out of my system that I had wanted to do
for a long time. It had to be done. Felt right.
With the help of few kind friends, I
found a small part-time job in an acupuncturist school on 40th St in
Miami. I was on
disability but couldn't survive on it. Needed more sleep than most
people and couldn't work for very
long periods of time without lying flat on the ground because of my
neck and back. This was a residual effect of a medically
stroke and a car accident from a few years before. Talk about a shock. This
stroke had
been a total flip-turn in my life.
One minute you are taking care of CEOs
and working in personnel and multi-tasking like crazy all the time
at a job, and taking care of your daughter. The next minute, after this happens
you are reduced to barely being able to remember what you went into
the next room to get! This didn't happen gradually with age, which
one can grow into, but instantly and you
are only in your early 40s. Nope. This was whiz-bang!
Its a challenge. The depression that that followed was not good
either. In only a few months there had been 5 deaths in my family. A
bit much.
Finding out HOW depression
actually works is one of the
miracles Buddhism has to offer from its suttas to this modern day
world and this is badly needed. What holds one up in times like this is taking it on as a
challenge rather than a determining that is was a disaster. If you keep that thought, that
this is just a change in the tide of the ocean, then you are ok. So
you hit a whirlpool! OK. It was part of the territory. But, soon the tide will change! Keep treading
water. Relax. Smile. The scene will soon change. Promise.
Carrying on: 2002
Things improved. But the immediate
family situation was a no go for now. Too exhausting. My kids
were OK. They were in college or out of college and on their own.
But with the immediate adult members of my family with the exception
of one, it was over. There were no questions. Kind of a shock. There
were no answers, or there were discussions that kept going to a dead end. There appeared to be no
outlet from stress and it was obviously time for me to start another
life and I knew it. It wasn't a matter of going back to Virginia and I wasn't
going to stay in Florida. I knew that in my gut. So where?Then one quiet evening the phone rang.
It was my Meditation teacher from
D.C. But he wasn’t in D.C. anymore. He was in Missouri of all
places!
“Come out here and help me build a
Monastery in the forest. It will be a different, a challenging
adventure and I am willing to teach you the meditation in depth.”
Obviously there were first several
talks on the phone with the owner of the land and others who would
come too. But the bottom line
was I said yes. I spent
the next few
weeks preparing for the move and during that time, on my time off,
studying computer
classes to train in website work and internet advertising etc. I
learned flash and other building art programs too. It was a real
effort to learn them to use them when I got there. I was going to be
ready to build an internet site to support this project . This would
bring people to the place maybe.
Remembering the movie "Alien'!
A few days later it was managed to
get used
24ft trailer. I requested they take all the furniture
out except for the bed and that they make a computer desk for me to
have workspace.
Honestly, I had no idea how to live
in that tiny space! But then neither did the astronauts!
I remember thinking, "I can do this.
I can. Just like Siguorney Weaver lived in her Corporate apartment
cubicle in the movie Alien with her cat. I can do this. I can."
I would say that every night.
I gave away everything I owned from my new apartment to my neighbor
downstairs who could use it or sell it, I didn't care. I broke
the lease and said good-bye to Florida after 7 months. I drove
directly out to Lesterville, Missouri. Where was that? I had no
idea, so please, as you read this, don’t feel bad. About 300 people
might live there somewhere in the woods. The high school had a
graduating class of 7 students last year!
About two weeks later, I had a truck
driver haul the trailer out there carrying two other college
students who wanted to study with Bhante too. I wasn't brave enough
to drive it there myself. It had turned out that my vehicle was too
small to haul the trailer myself.
I arrived, finally up on the Ridge
Top about 6 ½ miles from Lenny’s store at the bottom of the Peola
Road and route 21 with Lesterville about 1 mile away. I was there. I
had no idea where I was or what would come next. But I was there.
(picture of Lenny's store in
Lesterville, MO)
HELLO?
OK. Where am I? That was the next
question when I woke up that first morning. At one end of this ridge
top there was a small log cabin with many walls inside and stuffed
with furniture, old clothing, lots of things of all shapes and
sizes. You name it, it was ready and begging to be cleaned out and
taken away what was useful to the Goodwill. There was no bathroom in
this cabin. OK.
(picture of the cabin with all the
stuff on the front porch)
At the other end of the ridge, there
was a small house built for one person. It had a kitchen area. No
stove. No oven. No refrigerator. A two burner propane camp stove
cooked everything. But it was a kitchen. There was also a
bathroom with a shower. There was a Jacuzzi tub filling up most of
the room that had long since died and was like a dinosaur now used
for storage space!
(picture of house)
The downstairs was being changed over
into an apartment for the monk to live separately from our area. It
had a woodstove and a small just necessity bathroom too. It’s the
kind you nail one foot down and turn around with the other and can
reach everything. You know. It had a back porch he could sit on.
With a small roof from above.
(picture of Bhante's back porch)
The Ridge top was choked with sick
trees. The forest had not been taken care of for many years and it
was obvious. An older woman owned the property and her son let us
come there to build this monastery. The idea was that someday we
could have the top of the ridge to use with about 100 acres around
it. This was so you could not see where the lumbering would be done
just beyond the next ridge if the property was ever sold.
(Picture looking out over one ravine to
the next ridge ! Endless forestland...)
The forest was thick and would take a
lot of work to clean up. People had not been up there actively
working for a very long time. I knew that the moment I saw it. I
have to tell you the first week I was there with two college
students coming close behind me for the summer and, well, I really
got low. For three days at least, I would sit by myself in the
evening, out of site from the monk, on the jammed packed full of
junk front porch of that log cabin on the step, and just let the
tears roll down my cheeks. Here I was on top of this ridge with
college kids coming right behind me to an area where the trees were
falling down almost systematically each night with a bang, and there
was NO INFRASTRUCTURE. NONE. What was I doing?
Nibbana is here!
It wasn’t but about two weeks after I
got there that we got a call on the phone ( yes there was a phone of
sorts!) and there was a truck driver down below who had arrived with
the trailer in tow behind his truck. It was raining pretty hard when
they called me from the local general store below and so we went
down to get the students and bring them back up. But the trailer
could not come up! That was impossible!
You see it had been raining off and
on, 4-5 inches per storm and the roads were washed out and
impassable for most vehicles. Driving down to Bess Stop in 4-wheel
drive was OK but hauling the trailer back up was out. I don’t know
what I would have done without Dixie helping me that day. She and
Richard, the owners of that small store took pity on me and let me
park the trailer behind the store so they could keep an eye on it
until we could haul it up the mountain to the ridge top later on.
That would not take place for about 4 weeks and three floods later!
(picture of how high the water came)
(Picture of the trailer by Bess Stop store)
After the college students got up
onto the ridge, the monk gave instructions for us to built tent pad
sites out of pallets nailed together with 2X4s holding them. This
worked very well. The open parts of these free pallets were filled
in with cheap 1x2s and a floor came into being. The owner of the
ridge, Phil, chipped in for a two room tent and voila, there was a
habitat for the summer.
(picture of one of the tents on a
platform)
(Picture of a single man tent platform)
There were many things missing up on
the ridge. Pots to cook in. Paper towels. Soaps. Rugs. Mats. Chairs
for outside. A bike to get around on the ridge. Tools. All of these
things were down below through the flood times in the trailer behind
Bess Stop. In fact everything anyone could possibly want was there
in that trailer by Bess Stop or so it seemed. When I had given away
things in Miami, I had carefully kept things that would be needed
later by the group.
Thus the trailer quickly became known
as NIBBANA! Nibbana is the ultimate enlightenment experience that
all Buddhists who are doing the meditation in a serious way are
trying to achieve. It is the highest state where all else looses
importance and all that you need is found to complete your journey.
Nibbana. The answer to everything. I still think about painting it
onto the back side of the trailer now. It’s still here, still
working as a habitat for me where we are now at the current location
in Jeta’s Grove at Dhamma Sukha Meditation Center.
(picture of the trailer by the house)
Outhouses with a view
One of the first projects we worked
on together was building outhouses out of free slabwood. WE didn't
put doors onto them. We were placing the five outhouses at various
locations on the ridgetop where you could have a view while you were
there. Well, why not? The open side was above a ravine, or on a
peninsula of land where you could see for miles. People who came up
there were always fascinated by these outhouses and actually it is a
shame we didn’t go into business making them for hunters or
something like that, but with the doors if they wanted them (haha).
The one that was beside my trailer
was quite unique and even had an electrical socket that ran electric
from the cabin to a heater with a light added for in the winter. But
no door. Just the view. I must admit it was rather spectacular!
(outhouse with a view pic.)
OH NO! Not the Teddy Bear.
Many things can happen to a person
but one thing that should never be violated should be the Teddy
Bear! I was told this long ago as a child. In my case, it wasn’t
really violated. It was kind of replaced. Whereas I always had my
teddy bear with me in life and then here in the trailer, when I got the chain saw, the
ongoing joke was that I had replaced my Teddy Bear with a Chain saw!
See, I wouldn’t leave it outside
anywhere. I always took it into the trailer with me when I ended
a day’s work. You get used to it being right there by the door. Each
morning at around 5:30 -6 AM we would sit in meditation up at the
house. Consequently, I would wake up and carry it up to the house and sit.
After that I would eat something and go straight on into the woods
to begin to clear the ridge top so you could see out beyond it
again. Opening
up the top of the ridge to more openness and air was the main
project that first year. The trees had not been trimmed out. They
were badly crowded and choking each other and many of them were sick
and hollow inside. This made for a dangerous environment if a wind
storm came up.
After awhile people thought I was
growing another arm that cut down the sick trees. Actually it was
just the chainsaw added to my shadow sillouette.
(Picture of working with trees)
Organic Gardening, maybe?
When I agreed to come to the ridge
one of the nagging questions was how we could ever support ourselves.
What could we develop on a ridge top? One of the
ideas was to grow organic food. That sounded pretty good. We would
all work together in the garden. But when we built the first garden,
the truth came out that, there was NO SOIL ON THE RIDGE TOP! There
was simply no dirt to be found anywhere. Just rocks.
(picture of the first garden effort)
One time I had a guy come up from
down below with a tractor to help clear out as a small field. After
clearing the trees out, he raked it with the tractor to remove the
stones. It looked really great. So I seeded it. Fescue Grass needs
only a small amount of dirt and it seemed like there was enough
there. That night it rained. The next morning, I was looking out
over a moonscape but without dust or dirt! It was a landscape scene
of just rocks for about five acres or more! Really funny.
(picture of the mooncape field)
The Forest Mission or The Tree that
Disagreed.
Erwin, the Dutch college student who
was with us became quite good at working with a chainsaw too. We
had been working to clear off the ridge line so we could reclaim the
original view. Then one day the monk gave us a forest mission to cut
4 sick trees very close to the road on the way up from below. They
were hollow for sure, he said, and if we did not cut them down, the
wind could come up and they could fall on a car coming up the ridge.
So we went out there on a mission to cut them down. The first few
went like clockwork and fell into the woods just right. But then one
of them got moody. It fell against another tree and got hung up in
the branches. This is bad. It means it is a potential “widow maker”
just hanging around waiting to fall without warning on someone’s
head! Not good.
In this particular case it was very
close to the road too. So it had to come all the way down for sure.
So we stepped back and sized up the tree real nice and then began to
cut so it would fall down a particular way. It didn’t and actually
this became rather comical. No matter how the two of us judged the
cut for this tree, it judged us back and just laughed at us
silently. Every time we made another cut, it would fall straight
down about four feet more and hit the ground! But it wouldn’t go
down all the way, see?
Now, you have to understand, this
tree was over 80 feet high when we started out! It took over 11 cuts
to finally get it to fall completely down! Any lumberjack would have
been howling with laugher at our determination to get this tree
down. To this day, I am sure there was some slick solution to this
we didn’t know! Also, each time one of these cuts fell down, we
found out it was full of loose sawdust! When the last section hit
the ground it broke in two pieces.
This forest mission took all morning
and part of an afternoon to get one tree down. But we were
victorious! WE were covered with dirt and sweat when we came in to
tell the story of the tree that disagreed! However we felt we had
learned a great deal by the end of the job. The joke was that indeed
there had been soil on the top of this ridge all the time for that
organic garden someone had suggested! But no one had known where it
was. All the time it was hidden right there inside of the trees!
(picture of Erwin in the kitchen at
the table after working)
Daily routines
You learn many things while doing
daily routines in a forest environment. That first summer was no
exception. Many things were let go of too which was actually the
beginning of the training. All of us were encouraged to do our
meditation in the mornings and then during the day we were told to
keep it going.
The cabin finally got completely
cleaned out, the walls torn out, the floors cleaned up and a
bunkroom was made out of the back room. The front room with the
fireplace became a Dhamma hall and the monk, Bhante, had daily
interviews with us and gave Dhamma talks in the evenings there so we
could learn how the Buddha had taught the original group of monks to
do their meditation.
(meditating in the Log Cabin that was
there)
Cooking was invented as we went
along. Whatever people brought in was used to make a meal each day.
We took turns a lot. A portable oven was bought and put on the back
porch and a cake was made! Lots of iced tea was made too. Breakfasts
were usually Oatmeal with raisins, fruit, yogurt, and other yummies
that turned up. Trips out meant that we could go to get ice cream
below! That was our treat.
(Black River Ice Cream Parlor down below)
Meanwhile, during the first four
weeks, the floods kept coming. Three times the river rose up and
kept us on top as it went 12-15 feet above the road washing it
totally away to the underlying bedrocks. Going to the end of the
road to the edge of the flowing water, parking the car, and then
sitting on a rock and contemplating the moving river, was called
entertainment.
(picture meditating beside the flowing
waters)
There was no TV up top and little
radio if any. There were many attempts at creating ingenious
antennas. None of them worked. There were no newspapers, magazines
or anything else. This was an opportunity for an immersion in
Dhamma” if you decided to take it. You had the chance to discover
what you were all about or what you weren’t all about as you
continued to chop wood and carry water. As you sat in the meditation
you learned HOW things actually did work.
Day of the Sneaky Monk!
One day, all of us had the blues,
were lethargic about the meditation or we were seriously restless.
Bhante got the message clearly. He told us to spend one entire day
not doing any meditation! Don’t be serious about anything, he said.
Just let everything go and keep smiling. Do whatever you like.
So we did just that. We split up for
a time. Some of us went to the river to swim. Later we came together
again and worked on the road clearing rocks for incoming cars. Most
of us just had fun with cool water in the heat of the day. Everyone
worked together and then at the end of the day we went to the cabin
for our Dhamma talk as usual.
“ So, how did your meditation go
today?” he asked us.
(Pic of Bhante instructing us)
Erwin perked right up and said that
we had not meditated at all the entire day. He told Bhante we had
just gone down to the river and had fun and then come back up again
and helped with removing the rocks together.
Bhante asked if he had let anything
go by laughing?
Erwin said, “of course. I let
everything go!”
“Great Meditation eh?” Said the monk.
Sneaky monk! I think we were all blushing on that
one. He got us! We had all been meditating all day long continuously
letting go of any arising thought or tension other than what was
there in the present moment. We had all been watching how mind’s
attention moved and letting whatever pulled it away go. We had all
been smiling for the entire day. AND it had been great fun too.
Sneaky monk!
Hahaha.
Cooperation
The very idea of cooperation is not a
new. Even nature has to deal with it. I was in a section of woods at the bottom land
area below
the ridge top. There was about 40 acres down there with lots of
cedar trees on it. In a meadow, as you enter that part of the
property, you will find lots of wild flowers in summer. There was a
beautiful Thistle with two large blossoms on it. A butterfly wanted
to land on a blossom that obviously had nectar somewhere in it. A
bee wanted to take the pollen. The butterfly came and landed. The
bee approached from the other side and chased the butterfly away.
Then the butterfly returned and landed on the opposite side of that
flower. The bee flew away. Then the Bee came back and the butterfly
flew up and then back down and they BOTH sat on opposite sides of the
bloom and they shared it. Cooperation. It was delightful to watch
this.
They were there long enough to film a
minute film of this sharing with the digital camera. It’s called
“The Bee and the Butterfly”. Just like kids learning to share things.
( The bee and the butterfly film if
possible)
Rattlesnakes
Snakes and me get along. Always have
my whole life. As a kid growing up I drove my Mom nuts because I
liked snakes so much. Often had three to five as pets for different
spans of time observing their behavior. Then I would release them.
But sometimes, I suppose because I am not a snake, I forget about
how they live. Happens.
Felling trees down off the edge of
the ridge top is not an easy thing. You can’t always make them fall
up towards the top. In front of my trailer, which sat
on the very edge of the ravine, there were trees that were sick and which
obviously had to come down if we were going to reclaim the view from
there and from the cabin. So while meditating, I would go and work
on this. One week I fell more than a dozen sick trees down into that
ravine. To this day I still have the Karma of that work. Spurs in
both my feet and very painful walking if I go barefoot at all. Not a
good situation for a Buddhist nun. I wear orthotics now as much as
possible in my shoes. Have to do this.
When the trees fell into the ravine
something came back up the next day or so. It was Grandfather! At
least that is what I called him and I had GREAT respect for him. He
was a big Rattler, over four feet long, that decided if we were going to invade his
territory in the ravine where "his" home was, then with all
fairness he was going to invade our lumber pile beside the cabin
above the ravine.
That is where I first saw him.
We did not make friends but, as I
said, we had the deepest respect for each other. I realized while
radiating Loving Kindness during a meditation when he was nearby
that he had come up out of the ravine after loosing his home. I
investigated more in the ravine one day and found where his lair
was. I moved a bunch of brush down into that area and told him I
would not go down in there anymore. He left us after that day going
over the edge back down into the ravine and bothered us no more.
Sometimes when it got very dry, I would put out water for him,
sometimes milk. I don't know if he took it or not. but it was always
gone and a few times, I found his tracks in the dirt.
after that, it appeared we had an
agreement.
There were other visitors who were
politely asked to leave and sometimes were gently relocated a few
miles away into another area of the forest a few miles away.
(relocation guest picture out back of
Bhante's apt.)
Other agreements
There was a small stream that had
water in it all year long at the bottom of the ravine. It flowed
between two ridges. You could take a walk down to the bottom on a
trail behind the house and at the bottom sit on a small beach where
the water was about 3 feet deep. I went there one day to meditate.
Doing the Loving Kindness meditation
is a learning experience especially for those who don’t know they
CAN effect the world around them. Loving Kindness makes you feel
good, but when sent carefully with developed skill outward it
effects others too. This time it sent out a message that was clear.
Coming up the streambed was a young
bobcat. I was very still. He was eyeing me. I was eyeing him. Both
of us were calmly examining the situation. All the time I was
sending out loving kindness to him and I did not move a muscle. He
was not stalking. Just moving at a natural pace on up the stream to
get to the deep water in front of me.
He can to the edge about 10 feet away
from me. He went down to get a drink and just sat there. We remained
in this position for the better part of about 5 minutes. Then he
turned and walked away down the way he came. His turn and retreat
were calm, unagitated and natural too.
It was clear we had reached an
agreement. I could come again to do the meditation there. He would
come again to get a drink.
Later on the land at Jeta’s Grove, up
on the hillside opposite the house across the stream there, you can
go up and find a rocky cliff area with big stone to sit on. If you
sit V E R Y S T I L L , very still, and you sit for about 1 hour or
so, then something special will happen. As your equanimity reaches a
level of deep balance, there is no tension flowing out of you
anymore. At that point you have reached a point of agreement with
your surroundings. You are then accepted as a tree, a bush, a blade
of grass. When you open your eyes, you are very likely to have birds
on your robes or squirrels right at your feet. Any idea of a “YOU”
has disappeared to them and there is nothing there for them to land
on but whatever color you are wearing. Now I understand St. Francis
of Asissi!
There are other agreements you reach
in the woods while working too. More later.
Saturday- October 14, 2006
Thoughts------
Kitagiri Sutta- Good one to learn about. Always remember you can reach a level
but you are not there firmly there until the fruition is complete. And even then
you can loose that level, slip off, if you don't pay attention up to a
certain point. Let it go. Relax. keep smiling. Keep going. This lifetime is the
opportunity. keep going. What a gift to give people. Really cool that there is a
way out!
Pulled
more of the garden out today.
The
white cat now knows how to reach up to the door handle to signify she wants to
go out. So smart.
I remember this part. Killing frost came last night. All the critters in the
woods are quiet now. So cold you have to put more layers on until the cold
stops. There is no heat in the trailer but a small electric heater that blows
through the night. Didn't buy the propane this year. Too much! its ok. Gives me
a chance to watch my mind! <smiles>
Close
all the windows. Stuff the roof windows with pillows. Put out the scrap rugs
onto the floor so you don't get cold feet. Now heat up some water. Right. Hot
water keeps you warm! Plain hot water. A miracle. Take your vitamin C. Remember
the hat and the scarf too. Don't forget the gloves. Nice.
Sleep
is the robes underneath it all. Live in the robes. Walk in the robes. It's fine.
Put a sweater on over your long sleeved shirt. That's all there is. Stay under
the collection of blankets. 2-3-4 and the 5th one. Fine. The sleeping bag is up
at the cabin with someone who needed it. Turn out the light. Sleep. Soundly now
til morning.
Got to
find the booties for Bhante's feet in a size 15. Never can find them. Like the
Ugg booties. Keep trying to find them.
Cats
in. Dogs inside the house. Moon still out. no light necessary out side now.
Silence when it is cold.
Think
only about the solutions.
SK
October 29th, 2006 - Sunday.
Finally got a raise out of my son. He's on
land. Not at sea. Wrote me an email on his 32nd birthday. Well that's a guy for
ya. Was delivering a boat down the inland waterway to someone. Has his Captain's
license now. Can captain up to an 80-ft boat! Seems happy with work and with
life. Good to see this. Interesting how the Swedish blood is going back to the sea! Inevitable I guess.
The circle of life.
Wish you could see the moon here. The trees
are silouetted in the light and there is no need for a flash light now. It's only at
3/4 now. Not full. You can hear animals beginning to crunch in the woods now.
They do that when it gets cold.
My back has been injured. Bound to happen
eventually. I had been sitting too much in front of the computer and then it
went. Now it is a struggle to walk at all and there is this trip to Japan in
only a little time. Yesterday we fixed the horn on the car. That was good. Need
a horn. The wind was up! Robes! Kites! no difference some time. Really funny.
Some people in Cape at our meditation class
found out about my back and they came to the Huna Center next morning and when I
asked them to help me they did some wonderful work on me. They pulled away
the old energy from some old things hanging on inside of me. The took out a
whole lot of bad tension and then they balanced me to begin again with a kind of
cleaner canvas. Amazing what they did. I owe a great debt to Vallie,
Sherry and Robin for the work they did on me. Feels like my body will resume
working again, and yes, I will walk more now. Promise. Afterwards I could walk
ok and I even could drive back to the center. This was wonderful. It will mean a
slow drive down to Houston. but we can do it ok.
When I got back to rest that night, I got
out the old reliable Castor oil pack and heating pad and this helped me sleep
even better than usual. never thought that was possible.
The clocks fell back so we got more sleep
last night. That was good. Didn't get much done today but I healed a little bit.
The moonlight is up so bright now outside and there is no need for a flashlight!
It's beautiful.
Today a student found an understanding of
What is suffering for real. He really saw things clearly. Then another student
praised his efforts and encouraged him forward even farther down the path. This
is so encouraging to see this outward loving kindness and support happening on
our discussion board. It is a wonderful place to be a member here.
Even with all this pain in my back, nothing
could be a more wonderful today than to see someone find the Dhamma so clearly
and finally, after being a prisoner of a depressive disorder for many years,
having that depression rise up and take away their life, they can see the light
at the end of the tunnel because they know now HOW THINGS ACTUALLY WORK and the
true nature of their experience in this existence. Now this person has a
chance to set himself free and to competely clear his mind if he just keeps the
6 R's going all the time in his life; adding the 7th one too which is
"REMEMBER".
So now we have 7R's for our meditation:
REMEMBER>to>RECOGNIZE>then>RELEASE>RELAX>>RESMILE>and>RETURN>REPEAT!
Wow. What a life. SMILES
It will be time to pack the car tomorrow and
to get ready to leave on Tuesday to drive to Houston, TX. Then on to Japan. Here
we go again. Gee. Living like this, going from Dhamma talk to dhamma talk is
hard but the Dhamma is so real, such a real part of life, how could anyone not
try to keep it alive? It is the only thing that has ever been seen in this life
that is clear and real and accessible by anyone. It is truly a miracle that it
is still on the surface enough to find after 2500 + yrs.but every week we are
finding that it is completely changing people's lives and theri relationships to
their world around them. It is genuine and it is still clearly there in the
suttas.
As one student wrote to me this week, "this
practice really rocks!"
Much Metta. :-)
Sister Khema
November 2006
Turns out the 7th R which is Remember is
actually the act of MIndfulness. Mindfulness is remembering to begin to do the
6Rs. So I guess we stick with the 6Rs and try to do a pamphlet of what
Mindfulness is in direct relationship to the meditation.
Bhante said to begin writing something at about 1200 words
and then he would work on it after I did that. But first I have to refine it at
1200. This will be a good project.
November 4th, 2006
We left the center to drive down to Houston, TX. The idea
is to drive to Joseph Stuteville's home and work on the website for a few days
going over ideas for changes, updates and redesigning it. Joe, who many people
know as Sukha on our list, is our webmaster. He maintains the website for us and
helps coordinating the transcript development to keep up with the Dhamma talks.
He is going to go to Japan this time with us as a Kappiya for Bhante and a
representative of the lay community. We will be leaving from Houston on
the 6rh.
November 6th, 2006
We leave for Japan today from the airport in Houston. This
is a real adventure meeting new allies for the development of Buddhism. It is
hopefully the beginning of a newly defined direction for Jeta's Grove and Dhamma
Sukha Meditation Center as well. We go with one thing in mind. Wherever you go,
there you are! One step at a time. This is going to be a
long flight, something like 11-16 hrs total. We fly up to Chicago and then from
there to Osaka, Japan.
November 7th, 2006.
We arrived in Japan and went through
customs. The moment we passed through the door into the main terminal, we
entered OZ. In America we were just two monastics who were Buddhist and somewhat
on the fringe of society in the US. There is not any custom of ascetics in the
US and the whole history of Buddhism is actually contrary to the rest of the
history of a Christian Country such as America. But now we entered into a
Country, Japan, where nearly the entire country is Buddhist and as such,
routinely revere and respect those who have made a lifetime commitment to
researching, studying, practicing, preserving, and teaching Buddhism!
As we turned the corner, each of us were
presented with flowers by lovely women dressed in hand-painted Kimonos with
beautiful smiles and greetings! We were ushered to limosines which traveled in
an escorted motorcade to the headquarters of the World Buddhist Summit. There we
were greeted by the applause of lay people who came to greet us as we entered
the main sanctuary to offer respect to the Buddha. Then we were served tea and
given hot towels and a bit of rest while being introduced to our accompanying
team for our stay. We met all of the members of the temple and of the board of
directors too. Very impressive.
We visited some locations that day and then
had a rest at a very nice Hotel for two nights.
more to come ------
November 26, 2006
Tom Arrived and he got settled into the
cabin. It does not have any way to heat in place yet. We are going to try to get
the dome set up with a woodstove so that space can be used. Also we are going to
try to get a Kerosun heater into the Cabin until we can connect a woodstove in
there.
Tom began to evaluate what needs to be
done before the cold weather hits. We are not as prepared as we should be for
sure.
--No back up water is stored in gallon jugs.
--No extra propane for cooking is here that I know of.
--There is no way to build a fire. ( "After" we bought this place, we were told
that the fireplace is not good to use! )
There is no plan for food right now if the power goes out and we cannot cook.
Minimum we need a firepit built out back of the kitchen if we have no other way.
November 30, 2006
An ice storm hit us.
WE are unprepared. A wake-up call!
The electric went out! They say it will be out until Dec 1 afternoon most likely
at this time....
No heat!
No water. Only what has already been drawn and a 50 gal bucket in the
shower house. We do have a filter!
Can't flush the toilets without water... Will have to use the outhouse for #2.
We Have only the barbecue and a two burner propane cookstove to put up onto the
kitchen stove to cook on until the power comes back on.
Fireplace is likely a no go-- not safe.
Three woodstoves are not installed yet. No Kerosun heater delivered yet!
December 4, 2006
The electric came back on the 4th. We are the lucky ones. Over 100,000 people
are without power still in Missouri. Its really bad. It will pass though
eventually. Many shelters are actively helping people without heat still.
It's still cold! How cold?
When you sit at the desk to write to the students, your legs hurt so bad from
the cold you want to cry. Watch your mind. What a good practice. The heat is
running all the time. Have to order more propane!
December 7, 2006
They are running the films of the Arizona being sunk in Pearl Harbor in 1941!
Don't they ever come back to the present? I thought they had stopped running
that film. But then again the Government is trying to keep us afraid. OK.
I get fraid of my cooking. We all took a break from this exhausting cold and
went over the mountain and had a pizza for lunch! Better.
December 8, 2006.
It's Friday. Still REALLY cold. 16-17 F at night. All the bushes are crystalized with ice in the morning when the sun hits it. Beautiful! Stream is
still not frozen. Cat got a mouse this morning! Brought it to us like a grand
prize. The chain of life goes on.
On Saturday tomorrow, a new handiman named
Josh is coming to help us get a woodstove in... There are more of us here now.
Tom is staying for the winter to help out. He is going to help us cut wood I
think. Hes a really good guy. Likes to help out for the whole place.
Mike is now beginning to get into the
bookkeeping more. It's a chore to do. But we are getting it going better now.
It's cold now. My feet hurt and I am going to get my hot water bottle filled up
for tonight. What a wonderful idea those English folks had!
December 11, 2006
One day left to go into town beginning at 8 AM to take care of
administrative matters, get funds for traveling and bring in
supplies for those who will remain at the center. Should be simple
enough. Tom is coming with me to town to assist with everything.
Stopped for mealtime. Went into our small department store to get
socks. Came out and the keys were locked in the truck! Of course
they are. <smiles> Tom was kind of anxious. Well, what's true here
is wherever you go, there you are. In this case, I am in the back of
the truck after calling the motor club for assistance. hahaha.
3 1/2 hours later, after coming once to the wrong address
returning and telling the motor club the call was complete, the locksmith showed
up. It felt briefly like being caught in a Jerry Seinfield episode where Kramer
shows up for his first call on someone for a new Locksmith career! The actual
locksmith resembled an questionable very teetering old man who said to me,
"Don't worry dear. Just go in the store and get out of this rain. All wil be
well." He then continued to try each of over twenty slim jim arrangements to
open various model cars, while following closely a large encyclopedia sized book
of instructions for each model car failing over and over again for nearly an
hour! That was one more long hour. A chance to inventory the store in my
mind for future reference while mulling around inside.
Upon walking back into the store several times checking
phone calls, one customer in line asked, "who was I that I came in so often?" I
smiled and replied, " Actually, I live here, in the back of the store." Everyone
smiled. By now the entire town was aware of the purple nun who had written an
entire book outline while sitting in the back of her truck waiting for the
locksmith to come! Really a hoot of a day.
Then, the shopping for food at two stores and returning in
the dark to the center after 7 PM. No more time to pack that day.
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